The Dreaded Plane Ride (Part 3)

Dealing with your own paranoia ... and mean people

Many people are put off traveling with small children by either the idea of their children behaving badly or bad past experience.
Family friends of ours had a nightmare plane ride to Maui when their son was about 3 years old; The boy got sick with diarrhea, pooped all over the place and they did not have a change of clothes (see part one!). From that one experience they have refused to get on an airplane with their now two kids for 5 years! I think in a situation like that you have to ask yourself; "Am I going to let one bad experience rule my life? and exactly what lesson am I teaching my children here?"
Personally I have experienced it all; poop, vomit, crying, screaming etc etc. Can it be frustrating? Hell yes! but it is only a plane ride. You are not stuck in these cramped seats forever - only for hours. My personal mantra is always; I went through 18 hours of labour - I can do a 15 hours plane ride. I always expect and prepare for the worst - then it tends to turn out better than expected.

Then there is a paranoia about other people; the people giving you evils when you walk down the aisle as if to say "how dare you bring a baby on board".  Here is my advice on mentally dealing with these people (because that is all you have to do - these people rarely confronts you);

1. Remember 10 minutes after leaving the airport they have forgotten all about you and you have forgotten all about them. If you bringing a baby on board really was that horrific, Im sure they would hold a grudge for much longer and probably hunt you down. 
2. Unless you are flying to Cabo during spring break a very large portion of the passengers are parents themselves, and so even though they might be annoyed by your baby screaming, they also get it. They understand that sometimes babies scream and you cant do anything about it.
3.  .. and if they dont get it; boo to them!! You have a right to get on a flight with your baby and if they have a problem with it they need to either save their money and get a private jet or go on a roadtrip. It is not your job to please these people and lets face it: one day they will have their own child and karma will be upon them! 

Of course, if you have a toddler or older child, prepare them for the flight. Talk to them for a couple of weeks about where you are going, what they should expect from the flight and what you expect from them. Maybe even give them the prospect of a little reward if they behave on the flight (such as a new toy) but remember to follow through - if they dont behave they dont get the prize.

If your toddler/ older child behaves badly dont be afraid to take the fight. Kids very quickly learn when and where they can get away with bad behavior because mom and dad dont want a public temper tantrum (especially not on an airplane). Remember; one arkward temper tantrum is better than 10!

every now and again you get that old (for some strange reason often French) lady who actually says something to you. My own personal Little Old French Lady Story happened on a flight from San Francisco to Paris. This was my first flight alone with my oldest daughter who at the time was about 9 months old. We were waiting for take off and Sienna therefore had to sit nicely with her seatbelt on for a relatively long time - something that did not really suit a baby that had just learnt to crawl. She was cranky, crying and squirming, when the lady sitting next to me finally said "well do something!!!" I wasnt embarrassed, but I felt really sad that someone could have so little compassion and be so mean to me - and to be honest the prospect of having so sit next to her for 11 hrs was about as alluring as having my toenails pulled out. My internal anger towards this woman came out in my sarcastic response: "Exactly what do you want me to do? Put a sock in her mouth? hit her? She is a baby and does not understand why she has to sit still on my lap, lady!!" Luckily, a member of the cabin crew saw what was happening, quickly found another seat for the lady and moved her. Afterwards the stewardess came over and asked if I was OK - super sweet.
If this scenario happened again I would call the cabin crew and say something along the lines of: "This lady has a real problem with babies and children, is there any possibility you can find her another seat? I fear her hate of babies will have a very negative effect on not just her enjoyment of the flight but also mine!" Its sarcastic enough to point out the ridiculessness of the situation whilst at the same time being polite.

Lastly, always remember: pay it forward! When you see a parent with a baby struggling on the airplane take the time to give them some positive encouragement. Say; "dont worry - they all do this sometimes" and "aarh he is cute even when he is mad". Or ask them if they need anything, offer them a snack for baby or a toy. Its easy to feel like the whole plane must hate you for your screaming baby and it feels so good when a stranger comes up to you and disproves that theory.